Jesus.exe now requires a subscription—pray harder, pay faster

Some entrepreneur decided the Second Coming needed a micropayment model, so they trained an AI to roleplay as Christ and slapped a $1.99/minute price tag on divine intervention. It's the perfect marriage of startup delusion and religious irreverence—monetizing salvation like it's a premium Twitch subscription. The stock photo of Bearded Guy really sells the "this is a real business" energy while your soul audibly cringes into the void.