Rich people problems: bikes vs jets, a tragedy in one sentence

A Daily Star celebrity quote that inverts the typical privilege complaint into unwitting social commentary—apparently having a kid on a private jet is the *preferred* alternative to dealing with petty theft and home security measures. It's the kind of tone-deaf wealth flex that reads as self-aware satire but probably wasn't, perfectly capturing tabloid culture's ability to generate unintentional absurdism through sheer obliviousness to its own ridiculousness.