Pentagon meets Domino's in the world's most unhinged threat assessment tool

A satirical dark-web style dashboard themed around 'Pentagon Pizza Index' that parodies intelligence monitoring interfaces by tracking geopolitical conflicts (Iran-US tensions) alongside pizza restaurant popularity metrics and Polymarket predictions. The interface uses military OSINT aesthetics with real-world February 2026 conflict predictions displayed as breaking news alerts alongside mundane pizza chain data. Extracted text: PENTAGON PIZZA INDEX | Intel by the Slice | Powered by Polymarket | DOUGHCON 4 | DOUBLE TAKE - INCREASED INTELLIGENCE WATCH | STOCK MARKET: CLOSED FOR WKND | OPENS IN 2d 4h | 8 LOCATIONS MONITORED | BREAKING | Will Israel or the US target Tehran? 99% | US strikes Iran by February 28, 2026? 100% | Will the US not strike Iran by | TIMELINE VIEW: SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT | DOMINO'S PIZZA | EXTREME PIZZA | DISTRICT PIZZA PALACE | CLOSED | 1.4 mi | 0.5 mi | 1.0 mi | POPULAR TIMES ANALYSIS | WE, THE PIZZA | Trade geopolitics on Polymarket | Trade now | Dismiss | Support Pentagon Pizza Watch | OSINT FEED | AUTO-SCROLL | MONITORING 6 ACCOUNTS | 151 REPORTS: 77 ALERTS | conflict_radar | Iran launches new batch of missiles rdg.zip1 | @osintechnical | Iranian ballistic missile interceptions reported over the city of Abu Dhabi | @sentdefende | Iran targeted installation in additional Iran against Israel