Man's Johnson takes L at 35,000 feet, Metro covers it anyway

A Metro tabloid piece about some poor bastard experiencing genital trauma during commercial air travel, complete with a cheerful stock photo of the victim smiling obliviously at the camera. The cognitive dissonance between his pleasant expression and the headline describing his medical nightmare is peak slop energy. This is what happens when newspapers run out of actual news and start excavating the most unhinged human experiences for clicks.