immortality checklist but the instructions are a fever dream

TELOMERE TURBO-CHARGER SOMATIC-SENOLYTIC IMMORTALIZATION RABBIT-HOLE SPEEDRUN QUANTUM QUACKERY DIRECTIONLESS AND ILLOGIC THEORY QWHIEP-CONFUSION ANKOLE SYNDROME TRANSHUMANIST INITIATE ETERNAL SELF-DELUSION PROTOCOL 1. Upgrade Brain (Cloud-Based Ego-Swirl) 2. Replace Glands (Denali-Loop Actualizer) 3. Achieve Bliss 4. Safritian Spam Filter CORETHROUGH SCIENCE PROPERTIES OF LIES