world-famous dj discovers feet still work, tabloid loses mind

The New York Post achieved peak tabloid energy by treating a DJ's post-Burning Man hike like breaking news worthy of profanity-laden headlines and dual photography. Someone famous had a bad time at a dusty desert rave and walked out like a normal human would, but the media industrial complex needed it to be a MOMENT. This is what happens when slow news cycles meet celebrity proximity and the complete inability to distinguish between 'noteworthy' and 'happened to a famous person.'