incomprehensibly baroque insults about translucency and colonoscopes

Someone has weaponized surrealist imagery and bizarro analogies into an extended political roast that reads like a fever dream written by a thesaurus having a breakdown. The comparisons escalate from mundane (pale) to increasingly unhinged (ventriloquist dolls, kerosene lanterns, gravy-soaked cerebral attics), suggesting this is either advanced performance art or the work of a person who has spent way too long on the internet with no off switch. Peak energy, maximum absurdity, zero chill.