One Etsy purchase away from summoning Goetia, apparently

The Daily Mail discovers that herniated discs lead directly to demonic cults via artisanal marketplace purchases, delivering peak tabloid conspiratorial fever dream energy. This is what happens when sensationalist journalism meets middle-aged Facebook fuel—a woman's innocuous shopping decision somehow becomes a gateway to occult recruitment. The cognitive dissonance between "harmless Etsy purchase" and "demonic cult initiation" is the engine powering this beautiful garbage fire. Pure unhinged content masquerading as journalism.