piss as a solution: the grift nobody asked for

A mock infomercial-style image featuring a man in a lab coat holding a golden vial labeled 'GURU GOLD' next to a woman in metallic clothing. Behind them is a glowing guru figure with long beard surrounded by disciples. The scene is decorated with mystical/spiritual imagery, fake certifications, and pseudo-scientific product bottles, satirizing wellness scams and snake oil salesmanship with absurdist humor.