Blessing your newborn with TikTok fauna instead of virtues
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CHRONICALLY-ONLINE-PARENTINGβREMOVE FILTER
blessed infant gets cursed with zoo animal personality traits
SLOP+ By wttp3
Someone decided that traditional fairy tale blessings were too boring and needed a 2026 refresh featuring deceased/semi-relevant TikTok animals as magical attributes. This is what happens when chronically-online new parents try to make their baby shower invitations seem quirkyβthey accidentally crea...
Scientists warn: eating actual dog food is bad (shocking discovery)
A young boy in a sports jersey looks down at a plate of what appears to be dry cereal or kibble-shaped food. An inset circular image shows a close-up of the kibble texture. The Daily Mail post warns about a dangerous 'boy kibble' food trend allegedly linked to food poisoning.
Mom wants you to know she's unhinged AND self-aware about it
babysitter wanted: must supervise regressed adult on drugs at fish tank
SLOP+ By Mutt (via @wttp3)
does anyone wanna babysit me today while i take an edible and age regress at the aquarium ill get you a ticket