Pat Sharp didn't consent to this kitchen roll slander
DAD-JOKE-ENERGY✕REMOVE FILTER
Judas forgets the one meal that matters historically
SLOP+ By Bob Golen (via @wttp3)
Judas asks Jesus, "You are coming to the last supper tonight, right?" Jesus replies, "The what???" Judas stammers, "The supper... I mean, are you coming to the supper tonight..."
haemorrhoid society standing ovation but make it a bit gay
A screenshot of white text on a black background containing a multi-part joke that combines self-deprecating humor about exhaustion with absurdist references to speaking engagements at a haemorrhoid society and the Gay Liberation Front, culminating in an ambiguous punchline about recognizing faces i...
broken kerning meets broken hearts at alpha male auto sales
Fate cockblocks romance with housework; dad bod energy mandatory
ROMANCE BUSTERS EMERGENCY CLEANUP VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL 2-FO-1 DISAPOITMENT WORLD BEST DAD Me: *plans romantic evening* Fate: "Nah, fam. You got cleaning duty.
Neighbor rage-quit after Aretha Franklin music theory lesson at 4am
SLOP+ By Dave † (via @wttp3)
My neighbour banged on my wall at 4.20am this morning. Luckily I was still up playing music. He shouted "can we have a little respect please?" I shouted back "I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan, but OK, this one's for you. "
Mayo conspiracy theory that commits pun crimes against Mexico
InLucysHead© (via @wttp3)•
dad converts bike to time machine, still looks cool somehow
A vibrant, colorful DIY instruction header with retro 90s aesthetic featuring a question mark, bright pink background, and comic-style design elements. The absurd headline suggests modifying a cruiser bike into a time machine while maintaining paternal coolness, embodying peak unhinged DIY culture h...
Nothing wrong with these eggs, mate. Absolutely nothing. *stares into void*
SLOP+ By VeryBritishProblems (via @wttp3)
British man next to me at the hotel breakfast. His wife said, “how are your eggs?” He replied, “well, I wouldn’t say there’s anything particularly wrong with them.” Perhaps the most British praise ever uttered.
Fish had one job: exist. Failed spectacularly. Now it's plants.
Einstein's chimney paradox has been debunked by logic itself
SLOP+ By Imtiaz Mahmood (via @wttp3)
One of Einstein’s students asked him: “What does logic mean?” Einstein said: “I will answer you with a question.” “Suppose two workers enter a chimney to clean it. One comes out with a dirty face and the other with a clean face. Who will go wash their face?” The student immediately and without he...
Mom's museum trip hits different when statues have that much personality
A two-panel meme showing two women posing with bronze statues of African tribal figures in what appears to be a museum or cultural exhibit. The caption implies an inappropriate or crude punchline about the experience. The setup and caption are designed to be suggestive and humorous in a crude manner...
smartass points at sky, ruins stranger's day with technical truth
Pope Grumpnatious III (via @wttp3)•
Magnum discovers nuns observe Sabbath, nobody laughs
SLOP+ By RetroNewsNow (via @wttp3)
‘Nuns don’t work on Sunday…’ — Thomas Magnum ‘Magnum, P.I.’ (January 7, 1982)
worst pun setup ever but we respect the commitment to the bit
SLOP+ By Bob Golen (via @wttp3)
Ordered a beer and a sausage. Took 20 minutes to be served the beer. I'm afraid the wurst is yet to come.
corned beef broth vs cock in mouth: a study in unhinged juxtaposition
we wish you a mari-moose: christmas's most unhinged phonetic fever dream
A hilariously broken Christmas carol that phonetically spells out "We wish you a Merry Christmas" using animals (fish, ewe, mare, egrets, moose, panda, hippo, gnu, deer). Features whimsical cartoon animals in party hats on a black starry background with sheet music below, maintaining the appearance ...
WaPo discovers digestion, Twitter loses mind over fart tips
SLOP+ By GutterFeed
The Washington Post advised people to take a ‘fart walk’ after overindulging, and Twitter thought it was a gas – these 18 top takes trumped the lot The US launches Christmas season with a roast turkey feast, like the gastronomic equivalent of doing a half marathon to warm up for doing another half ...
Anthony's bar is not setting fire to dad's cabin
wooden horse enters chat, suddenly goat-coded
The Trojan goat
Breaking Dad pun inexplicably shoehorned into Miller play review
SLOP+ By GutterFeed
Breaking Dad! Bryan Cranston put through the wringer in this tale of family despair: PATRICK MARMION reviews Bryan Cranston stars in a new staging of Arthur Miller's 1947 play about a wily World War II businessman whose eldest son has been missing in action for three years.
the office called, they want their joke back from 2009
well well well, how the turntables
staples joke nobody asked for or wanted
SLOP+ By rixendeb
Why would you need staples, they have their own!
AC unit gets cuckholded, nobody wins
Air cuckditioner
gender war bingobottom line humorheterosexual strawman
men only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting: profit margins
spiritual guidance but make it carbs
Forget auras, give them a sammich.
men deserve cake too: a groundbreaking culinary manifesto
SLOP+ By unknown
Men deserve cake, too.
50% chance of living but only 10% chance of that—math checks out
SLOP+ By unknown
[<image> "He's alive, Frank...though he's on life-support. Doctors say he has 50% chance of living though there's only a 10% chance of that."](https:/...
light trap lid physics: the circle of life but make it appliance
SLOP+ By unknown
It goes out the same way it comes in, just through the light trap in the lid
well actually, feet go at the bottom
SLOP+ By unknown
Technically the bottom of them is a foot.