broken investment advice from the fever swamps of crypto twitter
FEVER-DREAM-LOGICβREMOVE FILTER
guy does nothing, big controls time, smoke exists. mystery solved.
GUY sings nothing, obvious bIg controls time, smoke hidden in night
dogs don't understand temporal concepts, flamingos stay pink, questions remain
DOGS DON'T KNOW IT'S TUESDAYβ RECHIL MASTUC LITE BREITHE PAST CUP BREEM! FLAMINGOS PINK
cryptic sports postingsubstance coded rantfootball adjacent chaos
arteta's rust hits different when you're speaking in tongues
random letter salad asking existential questions about corn in pockets
BUT WHY THO?! RDG SLIT WQE *TIR BMY? HOW? HOW? HOW? UOI SO THU BLU CORN LIMI SIR & IN YOUR POCKET? WELTIN? HE SAID SOMEONE WOLLD GO HERE! MASKS IN PANE.
unhinged capitalism meets wellness guru word vomit
SHUN THE SHAD - OWS EMBRACE - DOLLTREES chase EUPHORIA. THERAPIL right - EONS DEFENSIVE SCHOOL, BRAVE MEDS NOISE.
Coffee + Adderall = predatory poop lender? Peak unhinged wisdom
Officer Frenly (High IQ) (via @wttp3)β’
robotic fever dream where the final boss just gave up and took a nap
ROBOTIC fev Eternal combo dream Overlord sleeps
surreal breakfast anxiety meets duck route confusion
jam or cream first? where's my otheher sock or trauma coleslag may meh dyselt it conforts? duck's quick route
toilet paper manifesto hits different at 3am
man commits kidnapping via bag, voice memo era bad decisions
Someone's fever dream account of a completely normal day that somehow reads like a kidnapping narrative β a guy helps a mum, bags get involved, and then our narrator gets put IN a bag and transported home like a piece of IKEA furniture. Genuinely unclear if this is a child's bedtime story, a literal...
Harold's afterlife glow-up ruined by biological reality
SLOP+ By Old Salty Marine (via @wttp3)
Harold got real drunk at the Christmas party, and Uber'd home. He snuck in beside his wife. He woke up early at the pearly gates and St. Peter said, "you died in your sleep." Harold was stunned. "I died? That can't be right. I've got too much to live for. Please send me back." St. Peter said, "I'm...
Reese Witherspoon's interdimensional Jan 6 adventure ft. mystery virus cameo
hunter harris (via @wttp3)β’
Reese + COVID + Jan 6 + Jen Aniston = peak fever-dream slop
SLOP+ By hunter harris (via @wttp3)
reese witherspoon reported on the front lines of the jan 6 insurrection while sick with the novel coronavirus where she ran into her brother and later covered up his involvement and was dropped off at the FBI office by jennifer aniston. but the mainstream media wonβt tell you that
when Plan B is somehow worse than Plan A
SLOP+ By naiive (via @wttp3)
If Bitcoin dies , we all can pivot to gambling on Thailander hamster Roulette wheel
comparing foreign policy to special forces kidnapping is NOT the own you think it is
Marco Foster (via @wttp3)β’
Man rants about pencil surplus with unhinged doll-to-steel ratio wisdom
SLOP+ By Aaron Rupar (via @wttp3)
Trump: "You can give up certain products. You could give up pencils. Because under the China policy, every child can get 37 pencils. They only need 1 or 2. They don't need that many. You always need steel. You don't need 37 dolls for your daughter. 2 or 3 is nice. So we're doing things right."
anthropomorphic candlestick denies nothing, proves everything
SLOP+ By The Crawl Tool (via @wttp3)
Did it appear to you as an anthropomorphic candlestick in your dreams and clearly say this to you in no uncertain terms? Also when is refusing to rule out something the same as someone saying they will do something? Of course he can absolutely refuse to rule out something.
Someone's fever dream about children's TV had a very bad day
Commie Gibberish of the Day (via @wttp3)β’
snow face legal status apparently a burning question for someone
yes itβs legal snow face
Kier's sausage emancipation proclamation hits different
Old Kier wants all people SAUSages to be freed,
