Gates romance conspiracy meets Windows 95 fever dream via voice message
STREAM-OF-CONSCIOUSNESS-CHAOS✕REMOVE FILTER
hit head so hard jumped 22 years backwards mid-sentence
SLOP+ By cal? - OF on sale (via @wttp3)
oh shit man you hit your head pretty hard there are you ok? 2026? president donald trump? Sydney Sweeney 67 labubus? lol what’re you talking about. It’s August 8th 2004, we’re going to be late for our Chicago boat tour, and I heard the dave matthews band is in town and then
man brags about Iraq trip, considers self-awarding medal, threatens lawsuit
Absolute unit decides he's too brave for his own good, goes to Iraq, then spends five minutes talking himself into committing what's basically election fraud by awarding himself a Congressional Medal of Honor. The mental gymnastics are Olympic-level—he knows it's illegal, he knows it's insane, but h...
guy discovers emails, forgets how sentences work, warns about 4% release
Banksy's fever dream drunk text about hamster socks and mouth painting
CONFESSION CHAOS! ART WORLD IMPLODES! WHAT ABOUT THE HAMSTER?? IS TRUE ABOUT WEERS SOCKS! STILL PAINTING WITH MY MOUTH I'M FINE & EVERYTHING IS FINE I'M BANKSY UNTITLED PEAK
mom's unhinged war-time travel PSA disguised as parenting
A mum recounting the absolute nightmare of her son nearly getting himself conscripted into a war zone because he apparently thought his NATO citizenship was a get-out-of-jail-free card. Starts with some incoherent book chat, pivots hard into a paranoid rant about her lad wanting to visit Russia duri...
medical emergency announced via existential questioning
Why,why,why, my coochie itches