bathing water status speedrun: 13 days any% (sewage%)
wttp3•
BUREAUCRATIC-CHAOS✕REMOVE FILTER
Navy spends £200k on uniform buttons, tabloid loses mind
A Telegraph news post about the Royal Navy redesigning female uniforms due to complaints about button placement. The image shows female Royal Navy officers in formal double-breasted blazers. The headline uses inflammatory language ('buttons like nipples') to describe a legitimate uniform adjustment ...
FEMA director speedruns interdimensional breakfast logistics
A professional headshot of a man with a full grey beard wearing a dark navy vest with a DHS/FEMA seal over a white collared shirt, positioned in front a blue FEMA backdrop. The image is paired with a deliberately absurd headline claiming a FEMA official made an impossible teleportation claim.
government incompetencesatirical critiquesecurity concerns
Peak nepotism: let's put a grocery clerk in charge of national security
Group photo but make it a criminal lineup description
A formal group photo of approximately 20 people in business attire posing in an ornate government or institutional building with classical architecture (arched doorway, decorative trim, bookshelf). The image is captioned with an outlandish list of inflammatory accusations and absurd character descri...
cop shows up to arrest your monkey, nobody has time to explain
A police officer conducting what sounds like a perfectly normal welfare check, except they're dead serious about investigating monkey-keeping allegations and the homeowner is just flatly refusing access. It's got the energy of a sketch where the joke is that both parties are completely committed to ...
Council fat-fingers baby's name into a snack food
find fluffy, lose freedom: the nonprofit nobody asked for
SLOP+ By Mel (via @wttp3)
“10 million dogs go missing every year, help us find 365 of them by soft launching the total surveillance state”
IRS discovers new deduction: selling your eternal essence
Remember: Soul traders are eligible for tax breaks
Firefighters find drugs instead of arson, Spain's most based raid
Danish professor discovers actual WMD: PowerPoint + synergy
A LinkedIn post by a Danish psychology professor sarcastically comparing US military might to Denmark's 'secret weapon': bureaucratic working groups that produce elaborate plans but accomplish nothing. It's a witty roast of corporate jargon, governmental inefficiency, and the Trump administration's ...
just announced everything at once, surely nothing could go wrong here
SLOP+ By TylerD (via @wttp3)
Today the White House announced: - A new food pyramid - The capture of 2 Russian tankers - Banning institutions from buying houses - Raising the military budget by $500B to $1.5T - Withdrawal of the US from 66 international orgs - Restrictions on US defense contractors unless they build new plants ...
Uncle Sam speedrunning the most unhinged immigration policy
Dominic Michael Tripi (via @wttp3)•
DGT declares war on shapes, triangles granted immunity
A meme featuring a Spanish traffic police officer (Guardia Civil de Tráfico) standing on a highway with an emergency vehicle in the background. The joke plays on the warning triangle (triángulo de emergencia) that Spanish drivers are required to carry, with absurdist humor suggesting triangles won't...
DOJ staffing powered by $3 wish.com knockoffs, results pending
SLOP+ By Stephanie (via @wttp3)
Stuff like this tends to happen when you order your DOJ staff from Temu. Only the best people.
£450B vanishes into gov black hole, nobody knows where it went lol
GutterFeed•
Man speedruns deportation then reverse-speedruns it via judge intervention
SLOP+ By GutterFeed
Man freed from immigration detention centre on judge's orders as he fights to stay in US Kilmar Abrego Garcia, who became a flashpoint of the Trump administration's immigration crackdown earlier this year when he was wrongly deported to El Salvador, has been freed from an immigration detention faci...
AI challenge but make it governmental and somehow make kindergarteners competitive
SLOP+ By First Lady Melania Trump (via @wttp3)
PRESIDENTIAL AI CHALLENGE: Artificial Intelligence is America’s next competitive edge-driving advancements in your career, supporting your family, and strengthening your community. This is why I launched the Presidential AI Challenge: a nationwide call to students and educators to shape Americ...
Council paints disabled bay around car, then tickets it. Chef's kiss incompetence.
GutterFeed•
Olympic legend vouches for the guy who stole his identity 30 years ago
SLOP+ By GutterFeed
Olympic hero Sir Mo Farah backs migration bid of man whose identity he was given to come to the UK Sir Mo has written a letter supporting the 'real' Mohamed Farah's attempt to at last be reunited with his family after the mix-up left him abandoned in Africa over 30 years ago
Crime boss weaponizes human rights law, UK Home Office left holding the bag
SLOP+ By GutterFeed
Crime boss 'living the high life' after returning to UK fights second deportation on human rights grounds The Home Office tried deporting Alket Dauti after his prison term ended, but the Albanian crime boss has launched a legal challenge under the European Convention on Human Rights.
Cops ban fans based on vibes, Amsterdam says 'nah fam'
SLOP+ By GutterFeed
Questions over evidence used by UK police to ban Maccabi Tel Aviv fans from Aston Villa match West Midlands Police is facing growing scrutiny over th...
Grocers negotiate their way out of touching beer bottles
SLOP+ By GutterFeed
Deal reached to allow grocers to avoid accepting beer, wine empties Deal averts a potential death knell for the Ontario Deposit Return Program
Croatian govt discovers fire is great document retention method
SLOP+ By The Associated Press (via @wttp3)
According to Croatian media, the floors where the fire was raging were used by government of Croatia, for storage of their archive. Authorities in Cro...